The Dept of Homeland Security brings you . . .
NATIONAL PREPAREDNESS MONTH !

Dear Residents of New Orleans, wherever you are,

On behalf of the Dept. of  Homeland Security, I am writing to inform you that the Homeland Security Dept. kicked off  National Preparedness Month on Thursday, 1 September.  http://www.ready.gov/npm/

We urge everyone to keep their fear of terrorist attacks alive by purchasing one of our protection kits

with what you need to survive -- a flashlight and batteries, even a portable transistor radio so that you can benefit from our leadership during Incidents of National Significance

http://www.ready.gov/get_a_kit.html

Tell me,

Tell me.

Who you gonna call?

Homeland!

Homeland!

Homeland, y'all !!

Karen Hughes, Bush's newly named Undersecretary for Public Diplomacy and Public Affairs, will be contacting you with tips on how to stage your 911 Anniversary Celebrations.

You may not be able to afford our kits, but our advice is free:

In a Nuclear Blast,

" . . . close windows and doors, turn off air conditioners, heaters or other ventilation systems. Stay where you are, watch TV, listen to the radio, or check the Internet for official news . . . "

In a Flood

Listen to the radio or television for information . . . If you have time, bring in outdoor furniture . . . Disconnect electrical appliances. Do not touch electrical equipment if you are wet or standing in water.

In a Hurricane

Moor your boat if time permits . . . [and then] . . . lie on the floor under a table or another sturdy object.

Every day in September there's a "Tip of the Day." Today's tip says

. . . remember to practice your tornado, fire escape or other disaster plans.

With thanks to David Isenberg, who didn't make this up.